Let's be real

Yeah. So I realized yesterday that writing about what is happening is really really good for me. It makes me feel alive. If I can get things out there and just be real it is like sunshine for my soul.

I absolutely love when people tell me that they can relate to what I am writing. My strongest hope for my writings is that they will reach people that need to hear what I'm writing. People that just want something that they can read and go "yeah, I've totally been there!" I hope that they can be something that excite people at times and stir them to action, but also that they can just be something that eases their mind and reminds them that someone else out there is going through the same thing. 

I want to be informative of course and teach people what I am learning, but I also want to be real and just share what I've been facing. To be honest, I've been really afraid of being real. I've been afraid that people would judge my style of parenting if I was real. That they would say, 'see, we told you that you needed to teach your baby to self soothe.' Or something along those terms.

But I'm tired of sitting back and being ashamed of the way that I parent my child. I absolutely love and adore her. I've done lots of research and feel confident in the decisions I have made. I can't be afraid to share the negative parts of being a mom just because people might tell me that I'm doing things wrong.

No matter what you do I can guarantee you that there will be people trying to tell you that you are doing things wrong. So if you are doing something, you have got to do it with confidence. Especially attachment parenting ;) I didn't want to label it, but there it is. I can't tell you how many people and sources will tell you the opposite of what I believe to be right for my sweet little family.

I will not tell you that this is the way to do it for your family. But I will tell you that I am happy and confident with the decision that I have made to do it with my family!

Welcome to the jungle

Hello everyone! I am still alive. barely. Life has been rough lately. Teething babies are not for the faint of heart. Mine has been teething basically since my last blog post which was over a month ago... I was so set on doing things well and consistently with this blog, but never mind that. I have had a teething baby and now a sick baby. Oh the joys of parenthood.

I still feel a lot of joy from it though. That's the funny thing. It encompasses my whole life and I can't do a lot of the things the I used to love doing, But I have found so much joy in the things that I am now doing. That mostly being taking care of a rascally little baby girl. Seriously though, this girl is wild! She NEVER STOPS MOVING!

So I didn't know that being a mom would be so full on, but I also didn't know how much I would love it! I absolutely love it! Every second? No! Haha! She woke up every single hour last night and the night before! She's been sick, so I'm pretty sure that is what it is associated with. It could be teething. Did I get frustrated? Yes! Did I ever not want to come to her rescue? No way! I love being the one. I love that she needs ME.

I had a hard time with that at first. I thought she should be more independent. Should be able to sleep without being comforted. I had ideas that came from other people, books, doctors. But now, I understand how I want to do it. How I want to be there for her no matter what.

It was so sad to see her sick this weekend, but one amazing thing that I realized is how much she needs ME. That was a first. She didn't want her daddy in the middle of the night. As much as I want him to be able to comfort her and I know he will be able to more in the future. He just wasn't cutting it for her when she was sick. She didn't need to be breast fed at the time. She just needed her mommy's loving arms to rock her to sleep. It was a beautiful feeling to be the ONE. I have wanted this for so long.

Oh what a precious and fleeting thing motherhood is. I am only in the beginning but I already realize how quickly it flies by. Don't get me wrong, I know that I will forever be a mother now, that this little girl will forever be etched on my heart, but these days when they are little are short! I sometimes miss those newborn days. Things were simpler. She was tiny and easy to put to sleep ;) Now she is much bigger and more distractible. But she is SO MUCH FUN!

It's really fun to watch them grow, but I have heard so many people say to enjoy these days while they last, though at times they can be very difficult to enjoy. But despite all of the hard times I really strive to embrace this jungle that I am in now. It feels endless. It feels thick and all encompassing, but it's fleeting. Her giggles and her smiles and her new developments every day, they will slow down and she will normalize and equalize and become easier. But she will never be the little person that she is now again. So I just want to enjoy it while it lasts.

5 reasons why I still nurse my baby to sleep

Before I had my baby I thought I was going to be one of those moms that gets her baby on a perfect schedule and makes sure that she naps in her crib and does everything "right." I read some books that made me think that this was what I needed to do, that this was the only way that I would be a happy mom with a happy baby.

Here I am almost six months in and I don't really do anything that was written in those books and I think I have one of the happiest babies in the world! Now, maybe you are a mom and you do all the things written in those books and you feel like you have one of the happiest babies, and you probably do!

I just feel constantly bombarded with the mindset that it's wrong to nurse your baby to sleep. If I can help one new mom stop her negative thoughts about nursing her baby to sleep then this post has done what it was meant to do. I had way too many of those when I started out and I still have people telling me that I shouldn't do it, the difference now is that I have made a decision that I feel good about and I just disregard those comments.

My baby has always nursed to sleep with ease. There have been nights where she has gone to sleep sucking on her pacifier in my arms instead, but the vast majority of nights she nurses to sleep and I love it that way!

So I came up with a list of why I still breastfeed my baby to sleep. I am not coming against other methods, I just want to champion the moms who are breastfeeding their babies to sleep and feel like they need to stop. I really don't think there is a good reason to stop unless you are having real problems with sleep and even then I would question it because sometimes babies just have sleep issues despite what you do.

1. It's natural! From the beginning I kept thinking, "why would I ever want to stop doing this?" it feels so natural and so God given. There is literally a chemical in breastmilk that makes babies sleepy, how much more natural can it get than that! I read in "Psychology Today" that along with tryptophan (the sleep inducing hormone)"Nighttime breastmilk also has amino acids that promote serotonin synthesis. Serotonin makes the brain work better, keeps one in a good mood, and helps with sleep-wake cycles. So it may be especially important for children to have evening or night breastmilk because it has tryptophan in it, for reasons beyond getting them to sleep." 

2. She will still sleep in my arms. I have heard a lot of moms out there say that there baby no longer sleeps in their arms. I wonder how much of that is because we expect them to "grow up" too quickly? By this I mean that we are already so worried about sleep training etc. that sometimes maybe we don't even give them a chance to do things naturally? Please don't take this out of context, I know there are a lot of working moms out there and moms with multiple kids, as well as babies who just won't nurse to sleep. I get this, but I also feel like there were a lot of voices out there making me feel like I needed to sleep train my baby despite the fact that she nursed so well to sleep, but I decided not to and I am so happy I chose this for my family!

3. She eats more. This may not be true for every baby, but when my baby girl is not relaxed she rarely gets to the hind milk, she will eat for about five minutes and then she wants to play again. Eating when she is tired is the best thing for the active and distract able baby that she is. When she is sleepy she will eat for 15-20 minutes happily and she is so relaxed the whole time.

4. It's relaxing for me. Breastfeeding her and holding her while she sleeps is seriously so relaxing for me. It's often my down time during the day. When she's awake she likes to watch me do things around the house, so I can get things done during that time, while still having plenty of time to play and interact with her. When my baby is feeding and then sleeping I feel close to her while I relax. I usually use this time on my iPhone, there really are a lot of useful things you can do on your iPhone! I do realize that this approach is not for everyone, people with multiple children, for instance, probably do not have this luxury. To me it is a wonderful luxury and I've decided to embrace it fully while I still can. I most likely won't have the chance to soak up so much cuddle time with my other children. 

5. They're only little once. This is really what it all comes down to for me. I really cherish the times when I nurse my little girl to sleep and I know this time is going to go by so quickly! So why feel like I need to rush her into sleeping in the crib all the time if it's not an immediate need? (I should mention that she falls asleep really good and takes naps in her crib when she chooses not to nurse to sleep, I plan to write a post about how we do that) One more really great quote from the article in Psychology today: "Nursing and cuddling to sleep offers comfort for your child, a closeness that is associated with positive developmental outcomes. Children  will seek this closeness as a natural part of development. This is not a bad thing, it is simply offering your child the closeness that is a natural part of growth and parenting."

My main prerogative here is not to discourage moms who don't nurse their children to sleep or say that this is the only way to go. My main goal is to help moms who do nurse their children to sleep to embrace it and see the good in it. If there is no reason to stop doing, why sweat it? You're doing an amazing job mama! Keep up the great work!

One last note of reference. This article on Kellymom about breastfeeding to sleep really helped me to shift my mindset about it in the early days. I have found so many useful articles on Kellymom about breastfeeding. 

Children are a beautiful distraction

So, yesterday was a bit of a disaster and I felt like a huge hypocrite! I was trying to write my post for "Happy Thought Mondays." This great new idea that I had and I kept getting distracted by my daughter. Why in the world would that make me feel like a hypocrite? Maybe because that is what the post was meant to be about! 

As you may have noticed, my blog evolves with me, meaning, when my passion changes, so does my blog. Well, I am super passionate about being a mother at this time in my life and since I plan to devote the next several years to this job, I am guessing that won't change for a while. I'm really excited about all the new things I have thought of to write about and I am really hoping that I will have time to write about them, but if I don't it's okay because of the following truth (which was especially true yesterday while I was trying to write this post)

Okay, so yesterday I started writing about how she was napping and then she woke up and she just doesn't nap well in general, blah blah blah blah blah. But honestly, how many of you moms know what I'm talking about? Free time is hard to find and when we do find it, we have to know that things can change at the drop of a hat! 

I was in tears yesterday because my day did not meet up to MY expectations. I felt like a bad mother and a blog hypocrite ;) Mostly because I was about to debut all this new stuff on my blog about being a mom and having so much to share with the world, but that is what being a mom is all about ladies! (sorry if you are a guy reading this, I am just assuming that mostly ladies will be reading this now, but if you are a stay at home Dad, more power to ya! - Was that really 90's of me to write?) 

I am beginning to understand more and more that being a mom is just about rolling with the punches. Knowing that we are going to mess up and we aren't always going to get things done and our babies aren't always going to take their naps, but if they are healthy and happy and you are giving them attention and love. Then guess what? NONE of that MATTERS! Can I get an AMEN? 

So, there you have it! Happy Thoughts Monday (or in this case, Tuesday)! 

Please check out my new "about" section and also the new "motherhood" tab. I'm really going to be focusing on posting helpful stuff for moms, as well as just honest posts about life as a mom. I will be sharing on pinterest and other social networks because I feel that passionate about the things that I am learning; So much more passionate than I have about anything else I have ever written! So please share my blog with your mommy friends or wait for a post that is more exciting. 

Happy Thought Mondays

Today I was lacking inspiration. I have been mulling over what to write about. I'm trying to be more consistent in updating my blog because I know it's good for me. So I decided to start a new tradition. Every Monday I will post something that inspires happy thoughts, whether it is just a quote, the lyrics to a song, a poem, anything that is basically encouraging and, well, promotes happy thoughts.

I guess my blog in it's entirety is meant to do that, but this will be something outside of my own experience that I can write about and hopefully I will stick to it, since life with a little one can be unpredictable. It may just get me on track with writing on my blog for the week.

So let's start simple, shall we? A quote which is really something I've been trying to live by for the past five years or so. I want it to continue to be something that defines my life. Not the only thing, but it surely does encompass a lot. 

So there it is, simple and sweet. The main way that I try to do this is by constantly focusing on what I am thankful for. I don't take pictures of things and post them on instagram to show off, neither do I post things here to show people that I have it all together and they don't. I do it to refocus myself on the good things that I have been given. I know, social networks can be dangerous because we tend to compare our lives with the highlight reels of others. My goal is not to have a better highlight reel, but to be better at focusing on my own highlight reel, the good things that I have; Not to compare it with what is good in the lives of others, but to rejoice with them when good things happen in their lives as well as to share when good things happen in mine.

This was especially hard when I was going through three years of infertility.  I found it difficult to rejoice with those who had children and I had to stay away from things about babies on social networks at some point when I realized that it was unhealthy for me to see, causing me to feel self pity. But during that time is when I really began to understand what this quote meant. I wanted so badly to have a baby and I am so thankful that I finally do, but I was trying to have an outlook that would help me to be thankful whether or not that desire was fulfilled. This mindset helped me get through those dark days.

I'm hoping that it can also bring light to the dark situations of others. Everyone has some sort of pain. Our journeys are different. But we can all learn from this simple truth. "The Secret of having it all is believing you already do." Yes, I believe I do.