Motherhood

My experience as a mother so far has been unconventional. As of now, I live overseas with my husband and daughter, though my journey as a mother didn’t start here.

I found out I was pregnant in January 2014 after three years of trying to have a baby. To my husband and I this was a huge breakthrough that we had been praying for since our third year of marriage! Since we had wanted this for so long, we didn’t need to discuss much what came next. 

We went back to the states in July, when I was 7 months pregnant. After a whirlwind trip to California where our families are from, we settled down in Arizona where my parents retired. We didn’t have any community there but quickly became acquainted with the hospital and doctors. Joined a birthing class, childcare class and began preparing for the arrival of our little girl. 

Before we knew it she was here. WHAT A SHOCK! So much preparation, so much waiting. Now WHAT DO WE DO? It was the most amazing and most difficult time of my life all rolled into one. On one level I was falling in love with this little human being and on the other I was wondering what had happened to my life! 

Being married for almost seven years before having a baby might have made it harder to adjust, but in many ways it was easier because our relationship was so grounded. The first month I often cried myself to sleep because I thought I would never be sleeping in the same bed as my husband again. I longed to be near both of them, but in order for me to get sleep he would take our baby into my dad;s office and hold her until she would finally let him put her down in the bassinet. Then he would just pass out on the couch and stay with her until she woke up to eat. 

It was a huge help being with my parents since my baby was a major cluster feeder! I basically lived on the couch where I fed her. At first that was hard to accept, but once I embraced the fact that I had the freedom to just sit and feed and cuddle my baby girl all day long, it became a really sweet time.

Staying with my parents was hard at first, but once I got used to it, I really loved having their company and their help. Once it was time to leave, I was not ready at all! I kind of thought that I was, and looking back, maybe I was as ready as I could have been. But leaving my mom after bonding with her over my baby girl was one of the hardest things I have ever done. 

We came back to Central Asia when our little one was 3 months old. That was the second biggest shock. I was so excited to finally get home with my baby, but because her whole life so far had been spent with my parents, our home didn’t really feel like home at all. I wanted so badly to be with my parents and I missed all the conveniences of living in America with a baby, it was a REALLY hard adjustment. 

Here we are, almost three months later. It’s been a huge adjustment, but we are doing it. Living overseas with a baby! She’s always growing and changing. It makes me sad, but also excited. We have come such a long way since the days when she was nursing non-stop. In my experience as a mother I have learned so much so far and I can’t wait to share it all with you!