Thursday, April 9, 2015

My parenting style


As is sat there nursing my baby girl to sleep the other day and rubbing her forehead to help her fall asleep easier, I realized how completely satisfied I am with the way I have chosen to parent her at this time. Now as I sit holding her for her nap as I do during most naps nowadays, I am happy. I am happy that my baby lets me hold her while she sleeps and is comforted by her mama's loving arms day and night. They are open to her whenever she needs me. And all the sleep deprivation in the world couldn't keep me from responding to her cries.

It's funny how you think you know things about babies before you have them. I think back to myself even days into her life, set on schedules and sleep training. Wondering when life would be normal again. But then I found a new normal, one that I fell in love with.


I used to have a lot of misconceptions about attachment parenting. I don't love labeling it that either. I understand why it's called attachment parenting now, but to me the title seemed to indicate raising a child who was attached to me and never wanted to leave my side. I realize now that it is actually allowing the child to develop a healthy attachment during the 'attachment phase' of life, thus allowing for a more secure and confident child in the future.  

I feel like a better name for it would be 'instinctual parenting.' I feel that everything about 'attachment parenting' is very instictual. Which is why for so long I wasn't really admitting to myself that I was connected with this group of people who practice this style of parenting. I didn't think there was anything wrong with it, I just wanted to do things the way that felt natural to me. And then I realized that all of the things that have felt natural fell into this category, this style of parenting.


So, finally I admitted to myself and eventually everyone else that I in fact am practicing attachment parenting. Because if you put it on paper that's exactly what it is. I can see how a lot of moms stumble into this style of parenting naturally and there also moms who practice it and don't even realize that there is a label for it. 

It's not a bad thing to not have a label for it, but for me it was a relief when I finally admitted/realized that I in fact was practicing attachment parenting. Mostly because I could find others who were doing things the same way much easier once I put a label on it. I am finding this sense of community comforting and encouraging. I could also find helpful hints and tips on how to do things according to this style. Some of my favorite websites so far have been kellymom and Ask Dr. Sears

Once again, I'm not saying that this is THE way to do it. And in a way that is what attachment parenting is all about, doing things instinctually, in a way that feels right for you and your baby. It's about  freedom in the choices that you make for your family. It's about ignoring all the noise out there and just doing what's best for you and your little one.

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