5 reasons why I still nurse my baby to sleep

Before I had my baby I thought I was going to be one of those moms that gets her baby on a perfect schedule and makes sure that she naps in her crib and does everything "right." I read some books that made me think that this was what I needed to do, that this was the only way that I would be a happy mom with a happy baby.

Here I am almost six months in and I don't really do anything that was written in those books and I think I have one of the happiest babies in the world! Now, maybe you are a mom and you do all the things written in those books and you feel like you have one of the happiest babies, and you probably do!

I just feel constantly bombarded with the mindset that it's wrong to nurse your baby to sleep. If I can help one new mom stop her negative thoughts about nursing her baby to sleep then this post has done what it was meant to do. I had way too many of those when I started out and I still have people telling me that I shouldn't do it, the difference now is that I have made a decision that I feel good about and I just disregard those comments.

My baby has always nursed to sleep with ease. There have been nights where she has gone to sleep sucking on her pacifier in my arms instead, but the vast majority of nights she nurses to sleep and I love it that way!

So I came up with a list of why I still breastfeed my baby to sleep. I am not coming against other methods, I just want to champion the moms who are breastfeeding their babies to sleep and feel like they need to stop. I really don't think there is a good reason to stop unless you are having real problems with sleep and even then I would question it because sometimes babies just have sleep issues despite what you do.

1. It's natural! From the beginning I kept thinking, "why would I ever want to stop doing this?" it feels so natural and so God given. There is literally a chemical in breastmilk that makes babies sleepy, how much more natural can it get than that! I read in "Psychology Today" that along with tryptophan (the sleep inducing hormone)"Nighttime breastmilk also has amino acids that promote serotonin synthesis. Serotonin makes the brain work better, keeps one in a good mood, and helps with sleep-wake cycles. So it may be especially important for children to have evening or night breastmilk because it has tryptophan in it, for reasons beyond getting them to sleep." 

2. She will still sleep in my arms. I have heard a lot of moms out there say that there baby no longer sleeps in their arms. I wonder how much of that is because we expect them to "grow up" too quickly? By this I mean that we are already so worried about sleep training etc. that sometimes maybe we don't even give them a chance to do things naturally? Please don't take this out of context, I know there are a lot of working moms out there and moms with multiple kids, as well as babies who just won't nurse to sleep. I get this, but I also feel like there were a lot of voices out there making me feel like I needed to sleep train my baby despite the fact that she nursed so well to sleep, but I decided not to and I am so happy I chose this for my family!

3. She eats more. This may not be true for every baby, but when my baby girl is not relaxed she rarely gets to the hind milk, she will eat for about five minutes and then she wants to play again. Eating when she is tired is the best thing for the active and distract able baby that she is. When she is sleepy she will eat for 15-20 minutes happily and she is so relaxed the whole time.

4. It's relaxing for me. Breastfeeding her and holding her while she sleeps is seriously so relaxing for me. It's often my down time during the day. When she's awake she likes to watch me do things around the house, so I can get things done during that time, while still having plenty of time to play and interact with her. When my baby is feeding and then sleeping I feel close to her while I relax. I usually use this time on my iPhone, there really are a lot of useful things you can do on your iPhone! I do realize that this approach is not for everyone, people with multiple children, for instance, probably do not have this luxury. To me it is a wonderful luxury and I've decided to embrace it fully while I still can. I most likely won't have the chance to soak up so much cuddle time with my other children. 

5. They're only little once. This is really what it all comes down to for me. I really cherish the times when I nurse my little girl to sleep and I know this time is going to go by so quickly! So why feel like I need to rush her into sleeping in the crib all the time if it's not an immediate need? (I should mention that she falls asleep really good and takes naps in her crib when she chooses not to nurse to sleep, I plan to write a post about how we do that) One more really great quote from the article in Psychology today: "Nursing and cuddling to sleep offers comfort for your child, a closeness that is associated with positive developmental outcomes. Children  will seek this closeness as a natural part of development. This is not a bad thing, it is simply offering your child the closeness that is a natural part of growth and parenting."

My main prerogative here is not to discourage moms who don't nurse their children to sleep or say that this is the only way to go. My main goal is to help moms who do nurse their children to sleep to embrace it and see the good in it. If there is no reason to stop doing, why sweat it? You're doing an amazing job mama! Keep up the great work!

One last note of reference. This article on Kellymom about breastfeeding to sleep really helped me to shift my mindset about it in the early days. I have found so many useful articles on Kellymom about breastfeeding. 

Children are a beautiful distraction

So, yesterday was a bit of a disaster and I felt like a huge hypocrite! I was trying to write my post for "Happy Thought Mondays." This great new idea that I had and I kept getting distracted by my daughter. Why in the world would that make me feel like a hypocrite? Maybe because that is what the post was meant to be about! 

As you may have noticed, my blog evolves with me, meaning, when my passion changes, so does my blog. Well, I am super passionate about being a mother at this time in my life and since I plan to devote the next several years to this job, I am guessing that won't change for a while. I'm really excited about all the new things I have thought of to write about and I am really hoping that I will have time to write about them, but if I don't it's okay because of the following truth (which was especially true yesterday while I was trying to write this post)

Okay, so yesterday I started writing about how she was napping and then she woke up and she just doesn't nap well in general, blah blah blah blah blah. But honestly, how many of you moms know what I'm talking about? Free time is hard to find and when we do find it, we have to know that things can change at the drop of a hat! 

I was in tears yesterday because my day did not meet up to MY expectations. I felt like a bad mother and a blog hypocrite ;) Mostly because I was about to debut all this new stuff on my blog about being a mom and having so much to share with the world, but that is what being a mom is all about ladies! (sorry if you are a guy reading this, I am just assuming that mostly ladies will be reading this now, but if you are a stay at home Dad, more power to ya! - Was that really 90's of me to write?) 

I am beginning to understand more and more that being a mom is just about rolling with the punches. Knowing that we are going to mess up and we aren't always going to get things done and our babies aren't always going to take their naps, but if they are healthy and happy and you are giving them attention and love. Then guess what? NONE of that MATTERS! Can I get an AMEN? 

So, there you have it! Happy Thoughts Monday (or in this case, Tuesday)! 

Please check out my new "about" section and also the new "motherhood" tab. I'm really going to be focusing on posting helpful stuff for moms, as well as just honest posts about life as a mom. I will be sharing on pinterest and other social networks because I feel that passionate about the things that I am learning; So much more passionate than I have about anything else I have ever written! So please share my blog with your mommy friends or wait for a post that is more exciting. 

Happy Thought Mondays

Today I was lacking inspiration. I have been mulling over what to write about. I'm trying to be more consistent in updating my blog because I know it's good for me. So I decided to start a new tradition. Every Monday I will post something that inspires happy thoughts, whether it is just a quote, the lyrics to a song, a poem, anything that is basically encouraging and, well, promotes happy thoughts.

I guess my blog in it's entirety is meant to do that, but this will be something outside of my own experience that I can write about and hopefully I will stick to it, since life with a little one can be unpredictable. It may just get me on track with writing on my blog for the week.

So let's start simple, shall we? A quote which is really something I've been trying to live by for the past five years or so. I want it to continue to be something that defines my life. Not the only thing, but it surely does encompass a lot. 

So there it is, simple and sweet. The main way that I try to do this is by constantly focusing on what I am thankful for. I don't take pictures of things and post them on instagram to show off, neither do I post things here to show people that I have it all together and they don't. I do it to refocus myself on the good things that I have been given. I know, social networks can be dangerous because we tend to compare our lives with the highlight reels of others. My goal is not to have a better highlight reel, but to be better at focusing on my own highlight reel, the good things that I have; Not to compare it with what is good in the lives of others, but to rejoice with them when good things happen in their lives as well as to share when good things happen in mine.

This was especially hard when I was going through three years of infertility.  I found it difficult to rejoice with those who had children and I had to stay away from things about babies on social networks at some point when I realized that it was unhealthy for me to see, causing me to feel self pity. But during that time is when I really began to understand what this quote meant. I wanted so badly to have a baby and I am so thankful that I finally do, but I was trying to have an outlook that would help me to be thankful whether or not that desire was fulfilled. This mindset helped me get through those dark days.

I'm hoping that it can also bring light to the dark situations of others. Everyone has some sort of pain. Our journeys are different. But we can all learn from this simple truth. "The Secret of having it all is believing you already do." Yes, I believe I do.

She will change...

This is something that I really wish people would have told me when my baby was teeny tiny. I would have held onto it and I think it would have helped me to savor those first days a bit more. I think a few people told me this, but I guess I didn’t listen well. I guess I didn’t realize how VERY true it was, that everything would change and I didn’t have to worry about schedules and sleeping through the night and the fact that I basically lived on the couch where I fed her. 

I guess it just took some adjusting. But if I could just go back to my brand new mommy self and say, “Hey, enjoy this, she is going to change SO MUCH!” I really thought that I would be living in Central Asia, past three months, and nursing all the time. The reality is, once she gained a little weight and became more aware of the world, she stopped wanting to nurse all the time. She was just so little and that was really the only thing that brought her joy while she was awake, so she wanted to do it ALL THE TIME! 

She’s starting to get to a point where she doesn't want to nurse to sleep as much. It makes me kind of sad. Though I can say that for the past few months I have been thoroughly enjoying nursing and holding my sleeping baby girl. Now as she lies perfectly asleep in her crib, as I have wished for so many times, I wonder how many times I will get to nurse her to sleep again and hold her while she naps. It’s much easier when they are brand new and they don’t wake up every move you make, but as they grow it gets trickier. Still just as desirable, I just want to cuddle her up every time I see her asleep. 

I feel like I wished those days away at times, not realizing how precious and easy they were. She has changed and in some ways she is so much easier, partly because I have changed, partly because I know her and she knows me, and partly because she is just maturing. I really am a mommy now. Not a very seasoned one, but I have WAY more confidence than I did those first difficult days. I just wish that I knew how precious those days were. My first days as a mommy, they were so stressful at times. I remember not being able to eat because I was so stressed about doing my job right. How funny that seems now. 

I guess this is mostly just a reminder to all the new moms out there to cherish those precious first months. It’s also a reminder to myself to cherish today, tomorrow and the days that seem long, because she won’t be like this forever and there is so much about it that is priceless. 

Movie Review: Mental

I always wanted to be a film critic growing up. I even had a small section in the school newspaper where I would write movie reviews. I don't know if anyone ever read them, but I enjoyed writing them. When I went to college I studied film with a focus on film editing. Although I enjoyed it, I know now that film editing, i.e. sitting in a little room all day with no one else around, doesn't really fit my personality.

Through the years I have come to understand myself better. I have grown to love writing, baking and photography, amongst other things, but I have never stopped loving movies! I will always love to watch new movies, and sometimes the same ones over and over. 

So, these posts may not interest many people, but I will write them anyways because they interest me. My intention is to write about movies that people may not have heard of before. Not just movies that you would expect to hear about. You can check out the other movies that I have written about here.

The newest movie interest for me is an Australian film called "Mental." It's from the director of another offbeat film that I loved growing up called "Muriel's Wedding." As soon as I started watching it I could see the similarities and immediately looked on IMDB to find that they had the same writer/director. 

It's about a family with five young girls, the mother goes "mental," as the title suggests, because the father is never around and she feels like an embarrassment to her family for various reasons. She desperately wants her family to be like the Von Trapps from "The Sound of Music," but they seem a far cry from it. For this reason the film is beautifully sprinkled with music from "The Sound of Music." 

As a result of this mental breakdown, the girls' father, who isn't really a father at all, goes out and finds Shaz (Toni Collette) on the side of the road and hires her to take care of his girls. The unconventional Maria figure changes the family in an unexpected way. Throughout the film you come to realize that the title of the film was not meant for the mother of the girls, but rather with the idea in mind that the people all around this endearing family of wild girls, the ones who all think they are normal, are in fact, themselves, the mental ones. 

In my opinion, although crude at times, and rough around the edges, this is quite a heartwarming and lovable film. The character development and transformation is fantastic. There are moments that make you want to rage against some of the 'normal' people in the movie for their villainous acts and moments of triumph that have you cheering for the underdogs who are featured in this film. 

I would recommend it to people who are looking for a lighthearted film with a great amount of depth and character. It's one of those that I could watch over and over, and I just might... 

Postpartum Body Image Ramblings

My body is different now. It would be nice if the pregnancy weight just melted off and I was back down to the size I was when I became pregnant. But honestly, I have never thought about my body the way I do now. It feels so good to not worry about it for once and not to feel guilty about going weeks months without an intentional "workout."

I sometimes look at myself and think that I would like to start working out and don't want to let myself go. I never look at myself and feel disgusted, to be completely honest, I feel pretty impressed with what my body has done! I felt so good after I gave birth to my sweet girl, especially since I did it without any drugs. I felt like I had just run a marathon and I feel that without a doubt I could do it again and actually hope to.

I am amazed at how beautifully my milk has come in and feel so blessed to have never had a problem with supply. So many women have problems for unknown reasons and for some reason my body produces milk wonderfully. I am amazed when I see my baby that has more than doubled in weight, just from eating the milk that comes out of my body! What a beautiful image of what our female bodies were made to do.

I feel a kind of beautiful that for many years I wasn't sure I would ever feel! Sure, I have the desire to get back on the bike or jump into the pool and start losing weight. It feels good to be healthy and exercise produces endorphins that are so good for my mind and spirit as well as my body.

I guess I just realize that I have a very different body image now than I did before. My body was made to provide life for my baby, not just to look pretty.

So although I will still try to make my body look good by exercising, eating a healthy balanced diet and doing all of the other things a woman does to make herself look nice, I will never look at my body the same again. I will always see it as a source of life, and a beautiful tool that God has given me to nourish that life.

People often say that pregnant women have a glow, but in all honesty I did not feel it at all when I was pregnant. I do however feel like I am glowing now. It's a glow that I have never felt before, not one that comes from nicely tanned skin, a perfect diet or a disciplined workout schedule. It comes from a joy deep within me, something that I sought after for years. It's finally mine and I never really knew how badly I wanted it. Sure those old feelings of insecurity creep back up at times, but I have been amazed at how secure I feel in my body, despite it's appearance since having my baby.

So I will cherish this time and enjoy the way that I feel about my body right now. I am after all a woman. Feelings change so quickly. But I would like to look back and remember this feeling. It's life giving and a good reminder of what our bodies were made for. And of course, when the time is right, I will have time to work out again and to put some effort into making my body look the way that I want it to look. But for now, I am going to focus on using it to give life to my daughter and allow that to breath life into my spirit as well.