THE Story

After three years of asking for a child, we found out that for the first time we were pregnant on January 13th. Since then I have been pretty sick and barely find times when I feel good enough to fulfill my day to day responsibilities, let alone blog about what happened! 

So I want to share our story with you, at least just the part about finding out we were pregnant. Not the whole three years before… 

Since September I had been taking Hormones. The Doctor didn’t really know if they would work because as far as the doctor’s were concerned there was nothing in either one of us that could be pinpointed as the reason for why we were not getting pregnant. The doctor also told us we could only take them for four months. What they didn’t tell us at first was that these hormones could cause my cycles to be irregular. We found that out the hard way in December, after being convinced that “THIS WAS IT.” We were more than let down when my period came 7 days late. 

That seemed like a breaking point for us. Even though we knew we had one more month of the medication, we were not convinced that it was going to make a difference. We started asking Papa about In Vitro. Was it the right option for us? We have always wanted to adopt, but we had already looked into International Adoption and that was not possible for us for several reasons having to do with our life overseas. We had never really looked into Domestic adoption, but really thought it was almost impossible unless we moved back to the states long term.

But the more we asked, the more we felt Papa challenging us to seek out this option. So we gave it over to him. We surrendered the life we love to him and just agreed that we would do whatever it took to get a child through adoption if he didn’t give us one naturally, which we honestly didn't even consider as a possibility at this point… It was a painful letting go process. 

We really started to consider and talk about what life would look like back in the states. It seemed depressing to leave everything from the past five years, leaving our work would be a challenge, but mostly the thought of leaving the relationships behind was excruciatingly painful . 

I remember Sunday January 12th well. I was 9 days late and we were both convinced that the hormones were once again effecting my cycle. I might have had a few passing thoughts of pregnancy but shooed them away with the reality that these hormones did it last month and from what I read it progresses more and more the longer you take them. 

But since I was a whole 9 days late I figured that I should take a test to just completely get the thought out of my mind for good. To know for sure and then just wait for my period to start in peace. Boy was I in for a surprise the next day.

I woke up groggy the next morning at 6:30am as usual. Knowing that I needed to take the pregnancy test right away, but not really feeling like it was going to be positive, although I had just dreamt twice that I had positive pregnancy tests, and to be honest that had only happened once or twice before, in the very beginning. I didn’t really take the dreams as anything…

I took the test and within seconds I was wide awake! Usually it takes a moment for the first line to appear, but it seemed almost immediate that both lines were bright red!! 

I screamed and ran into the bedroom! “Curtis it’s positive!!” I was amazed! He was so confused! He had completely forgotten I was taking a test! He usually wakes up if I’m gonna take one and worries about it. This time he slept soundly because we were both convinced that it was going to be negative. I cannot stress enough how convinced we were of that! 

So what ensued was an amazing moment with tears and kisses and hugs and disbelief! Unbelievably Curtis fell back asleep, but all I could do was praise God! I was in a daze most of the day. My head was in the clouds. 

The next day the worry started to set in, and thus it began. The journey of parenthood. I know that I don't have a baby yet. But it began that day, with the knowledge of this little life inside of me. I was no longer responsible for only myself. I couldn't be more afraid or excited of what lies ahead.