Before I had my baby I thought I was going to be one of those moms that gets her baby on a perfect schedule and makes sure that she naps in her crib and does everything "right." I read some books that made me think that this was what I needed to do, that this was the only way that I would be a happy mom with a happy baby.
Here I am almost six months in and I don't really do anything that was written in those books and I think I have one of the happiest babies in the world! Now, maybe you are a mom and you do all the things written in those books and you feel like you have one of the happiest babies, and you probably do!
I just feel constantly bombarded with the mindset that it's wrong to nurse your baby to sleep. If I can help one new mom stop her negative thoughts about nursing her baby to sleep then this post has done what it was meant to do. I had way too many of those when I started out and I still have people telling me that I shouldn't do it, the difference now is that I have made a decision that I feel good about and I just disregard those comments.
My baby has always nursed to sleep with ease. There have been nights where she has gone to sleep sucking on her pacifier in my arms instead, but the vast majority of nights she nurses to sleep and I love it that way!
So I came up with a list of why I still breastfeed my baby to sleep. I am not coming against other methods, I just want to champion the moms who are breastfeeding their babies to sleep and feel like they need to stop. I really don't think there is a good reason to stop unless you are having real problems with sleep and even then I would question it because sometimes babies just have sleep issues despite what you do.
1. It's natural! From the beginning I kept thinking, "why would I ever want to stop doing this?" it feels so natural and so God given. There is literally a chemical in breastmilk that makes babies sleepy, how much more natural can it get than that! I read in "Psychology Today" that along with tryptophan (the sleep inducing hormone)"Nighttime breastmilk also has amino acids that promote serotonin synthesis. Serotonin makes the brain work better, keeps one in a good mood, and helps with sleep-wake cycles. So it may be especially important for children to have evening or night breastmilk because it has tryptophan in it, for reasons beyond getting them to sleep."
2. She will still sleep in my arms. I have heard a lot of moms out there say that there baby no longer sleeps in their arms. I wonder how much of that is because we expect them to "grow up" too quickly? By this I mean that we are already so worried about sleep training etc. that sometimes maybe we don't even give them a chance to do things naturally? Please don't take this out of context, I know there are a lot of working moms out there and moms with multiple kids, as well as babies who just won't nurse to sleep. I get this, but I also feel like there were a lot of voices out there making me feel like I needed to sleep train my baby despite the fact that she nursed so well to sleep, but I decided not to and I am so happy I chose this for my family!
3. She eats more. This may not be true for every baby, but when my baby girl is not relaxed she rarely gets to the hind milk, she will eat for about five minutes and then she wants to play again. Eating when she is tired is the best thing for the active and distract able baby that she is. When she is sleepy she will eat for 15-20 minutes happily and she is so relaxed the whole time.
4. It's relaxing for me. Breastfeeding her and holding her while she sleeps is seriously so relaxing for me. It's often my down time during the day. When she's awake she likes to watch me do things around the house, so I can get things done during that time, while still having plenty of time to play and interact with her. When my baby is feeding and then sleeping I feel close to her while I relax. I usually use this time on my iPhone, there really are a lot of useful things you can do on your iPhone! I do realize that this approach is not for everyone, people with multiple children, for instance, probably do not have this luxury. To me it is a wonderful luxury and I've decided to embrace it fully while I still can. I most likely won't have the chance to soak up so much cuddle time with my other children.
5. They're only little once. This is really what it all comes down to for me. I really cherish the times when I nurse my little girl to sleep and I know this time is going to go by so quickly! So why feel like I need to rush her into sleeping in the crib all the time if it's not an immediate need? (I should mention that she falls asleep really good and takes naps in her crib when she chooses not to nurse to sleep, I plan to write a post about how we do that) One more really great quote from the article in Psychology today: "Nursing and cuddling to sleep offers comfort for your child, a closeness that is associated with positive developmental outcomes. Children will seek this closeness as a natural part of development. This is not a bad thing, it is simply offering your child the closeness that is a natural part of growth and parenting."
My main prerogative here is not to discourage moms who don't nurse their children to sleep or say that this is the only way to go. My main goal is to help moms who do nurse their children to sleep to embrace it and see the good in it. If there is no reason to stop doing, why sweat it? You're doing an amazing job mama! Keep up the great work!
One last note of reference. This article on Kellymom about breastfeeding to sleep really helped me to shift my mindset about it in the early days. I have found so many useful articles on Kellymom about breastfeeding.
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