One of those days...

Today was just one of those days that you wake up feeling like going back to bed and no matter what you do, you can’t shake that feeling of just wanting to crawl back into bed, forgetting that this day ever existed. No good reason for it, it’s just the way that I felt today.

Today was one of those days, but it was different. I went about my business today dreading the moment I would step out the door to go to work, partly because it was snowing like mad, but also because I just didn’t feel like teaching today.

Today was one of those days where I remember how lucky I am to be teaching this group of kids. Today was one of those days that I realized that “one of those days” could change if you had students like them.

I am really happy that today was ‘one of those days!’

Snow

The snow is falling lightly now, but it has been snowing for over 36 hours. I have never experienced this much snow in my life. I have never lived in the snow or even experienced a real winter. Last winter in our city we had a handful of freezing days and the snow was sparse. This winter didn’t really start until January, but it started and has not really stopped, granted the few crazy days that it felt like spring in between the abundant days of winter. I have been able to understand the beauty and the pain of winter this year. I felt the icy cold of mid winter last month as it dragged on through our winter break. I felt like there would be no end.

I realize that this seems a bit dramatic, but when you are from sunny southern California and you experience 15-20 freezing sunless days in a row, it can be quite depressing. Despite the charm and enchantment of snow and cold during the holiday season, winter can be drawn-out and fatiguing. It brings a weariness that I had never felt before.

With all that dramatically said, I can welcome the snow today, because it seems to be the beginning of the close of my first real winter. I somehow see the appeal now. I can understand the magnificence of G*d’s grace in this land of white covering all of the filth and grime of the city. The snow has transformed the city into a winsome fairy land and today I can say that I love the snow!

Beautiful Ending

I think this is one of my favorite songs. I often find inspiration from it. The beautiful piano intro always shakes me with the intensity of the message. There is a lot of truth in the words. Read for yourself…

Beautiful Ending

By: Barlow Girl

Oh tragedy has taken so many  |

Love lost cause they all forgot  who You were  |

And it scares me to think that I would choose my life over You  |

Oh my selfish heart divides me from You, it tears us apart  |

So tell me  What is our ending?

Will it be beautiful, so beautiful?

Oh how do I let myself let go

Of hands that painted the stars and hold tears that fall?

And the pride of my heart makes me forget it’s not me but you

Who makes the heart beat,

I’m lost without you and you’re dying for me

So tell me  What is our ending?

Will it be beautiful, so beautiful?

Will my life Find me by Your side?

Your love is beautiful, so beautiful

At the end of it all I want to be in Your arms

Maybe the idea clashes with some the*log!es. But at times I feel like I can let go of the hands of my creator and that scares me. I know that He will not let me go easy, but sometimes I let Him go too easily. What I mean is that I compromise too easily, I do what I know is s!n, I think too highly of my possessions and of myself, I cling to things that really don’t matter at all, I could go on and on with the ways that I am always letting go of him…

I know that he has ways of drawing me back, but sometimes I think that if I am not careful that I could let go for good. I don’t think that I am anywhere close now, but I know that it is a slow process… I feel like I have seen it happen, but I am not sure. You could argue that those people never truly bel!eved. I know this is a big debate in the Ch*rch. I just know that I love Gsus and I stumble and it scares me, and I don’t think that this fear is a bad thing, it usually brings me closer to Him.

And this song is good because it really makes me feel the urgency to draw close to G*d and never let go. Keith Green said “The ones He’s found true, who’ve made it through, enduring until the end.” I simply want to endure till the end.

Dust...

“As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the L*rd is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his children’s children, to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments.”

Ps*lm 103: 15-18

These flowers are beautiful, but they will soon die and their time on this earth will be over, just like that. We are not unlike these flowers. Our time on earth may seem like a long time, but to G*d a thousand years is like a day. We will likely be here for less than 100 years. That could be depressing if you didn’t read the second part. The part about G*d’s LOVE! The part that he has been teaching me about this year. That his LOVE should be the reason that I get up in the morning, the reason for my JOY, HOPE and PEACE. It is from everlasting to everlasting and I can have it, if I choose to follow his commandments.

Sometimes I know this, but I don’t really take hold of this in my mind and heart. Today I want to take hold of this concept. That I am nothing but dust, yet I have a loving Father in H*aven who is from everlasting to everlasting and he chooses to look on this useless piece of dust with LOVE and even use me to fulfill His purposes. What a gift. What a blessing. Today I will put my JOY, my HOPE, my FA!TH in Him and I will get LOVE & PEACE & STRENGTH in return.

Happy Valentine's Day

I just have to share about the Valentine’s Day Party that our students gave us this weekend. It was amazing. It truly blew us away; all the thought and effort that went into this gathering. We often give parties for our students, but none of them have compared to the party that they threw for us this weekend. A very large group of the students from the Conversation Club at the English Center practiced every day for two weeks to give us this beautiful display of talent and love!

Basically they spent all of their free time the last couple of weeks, arranging, rehearsing, baking, looking up trivia, poetry, studying the love languages, finding quotes to fill the walls of the conference room etc. I feel like we have the best students in the world at our center. I am not even exaggerating. I can’t imagine a more wonderful gesture of love from students.

They gave this party to honor the various foreigners (Americans, Australians, Germans & British) that work at the Center. They began by singing “I just called to say I love you” by Stevie Wonder. Then they hosted a trivia game with various different questions to challenge our minds, they even rewarded us with prizes when we didn’t get many of the questions correct. After this they read some poetry and did a little demonstration of the five love languages. Then they did a skit where they acted like a class of students and they did impressions of some of the teachers, including Curtis and I. It was so funny because one of my students, who is also a good friend, was supposed to be Curtis.

Then they called up Andrew and I to go head to head, answering questions about our spouses! I was able to win this competition; even though they have been married for 11 years, but I guess there is more room for preferences to change.  After this they did an amazing dance with about 10 people, girls and boys! It was astonishing how well the boys did, not to mention the girls who were obviously quite a bit more agile than most of the boys.

They closed with another song sung by one talented young lady. Afterwards we went out into the foyer and ate beautiful heart shaped sugar cookies, the one thing that I was allowed to help with  , and drank tea of course.

It is so difficult to express how much my heart is touched by what they have done and by how cute they are. They are adorable and loving and precious. Seriously, I can’t describe the way that they looked with their huge smiles singing “I just called to say I love you.”

Somehow I wish that I could take all of the love that I felt at that moment and smear it all over this page, but however hard I try, I can’t. It was a beautiful thing; it made me realize how blessed I am to be working with these kids. They are talented and beautiful and loving and grateful for all that we have given to them. I just don’t know what else I would want to do with my life. I feel advantaged to be pouring my love and energy into these kids!

It is these moments that help me to remember why I am here. I LOVE these kids! THEY are WHY I am HERE!