Friday, April 22, 2016

some days



Today is just one of those days that you think "Where did my sweet baby go?" It's a struggle to see her in pain and not know what it is that's hurting and what we can do to help. To offer her 10 different food options and by the time you're done you're both in tears and nothing has been consumed. To wish that she could just be like "other babies" and sleep off her sickness instead of waking up every hour and the only way she'll stay asleep is to nurse. To watch her go through breathing treatments after praying so hard that she would never have to struggle with asthma the way that you did. 


I'm not looking for sympathy, just people who understand. People who might feel like they're not alone because they're facing or have faced the same things.

These days are hard but they also hold glimmers of hope. Little glimpses of the baby you know and love so well. The reminder of how blessed you are and how hard you prayed for what you have now. 


Despite its difficulty, it's worth the tears, the uncertainty, the frustration, the momentary feelings of insanity, and sides of yourself that you never wanted to see and vowed you would never be. It's all so. very. worth. it. 

Saturday, April 9, 2016

My New Reality

It's been way too long since my last post. Rather than uninspired, I have been super busy and haven't made time for this creative outlet. I have been missing it, seeing other bloggers write and remembering that feeling of accomplishment that I got when I wrote regularly on my blog.


I've decided recently that I'm gonna make time for things that matter. Things that inspire me, and add value to my life and to my family. I believe that my job as a wife and mother is to serve them by creating a healthy and loving atmosphere in our home and I'm determined to do that.

One of my favorite times of day is morning. I sit with a cup of coffee and watch my daughter play after working out and getting us both fed. She grabs part of my pant leg and says in her sweet little inquiring voice, "Go?" and I follow her into her room. Watch her as she plucks her toys our of the shelf one by one. She fits all the shape into her shape sorter and I clap and cheer her on, just watching, amazed at what a smart little girl she is growing up to be. She grabs one of many books and hands it to me with sweetness in her eyes she says "Yeah?" and as quickly as I say yes, she starts to lifts herself up onto my lap.


Sweet little moments every day that I love having with her. Moments that are precious to us stay at home mamas. These moments don't come without the frustrations of motherhood, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Being a mama is by far one of the most challenging jobs I have ever done, but my favorite by a long shot! I'm so excited to get you all up to date a bit on my new reality, but for now I just want to say that I'm coming back to the blogging world. It may only be once a week, hopefully a little more, but I know that I need this creative outlet and I want to continue to share my experiences with people and just have little reminders for myself of what life was like as an early mom. A lot of the times I feel like I'm living in the thick of the best days of my life. There have been so many good times before and there will be so many good times ahead, but I am so thankful for what life is like right now.