Welcome to the jungle

Hello everyone! I am still alive. barely. Life has been rough lately. Teething babies are not for the faint of heart. Mine has been teething basically since my last blog post which was over a month ago... I was so set on doing things well and consistently with this blog, but never mind that. I have had a teething baby and now a sick baby. Oh the joys of parenthood.

I still feel a lot of joy from it though. That's the funny thing. It encompasses my whole life and I can't do a lot of the things the I used to love doing, But I have found so much joy in the things that I am now doing. That mostly being taking care of a rascally little baby girl. Seriously though, this girl is wild! She NEVER STOPS MOVING!

So I didn't know that being a mom would be so full on, but I also didn't know how much I would love it! I absolutely love it! Every second? No! Haha! She woke up every single hour last night and the night before! She's been sick, so I'm pretty sure that is what it is associated with. It could be teething. Did I get frustrated? Yes! Did I ever not want to come to her rescue? No way! I love being the one. I love that she needs ME.

I had a hard time with that at first. I thought she should be more independent. Should be able to sleep without being comforted. I had ideas that came from other people, books, doctors. But now, I understand how I want to do it. How I want to be there for her no matter what.

It was so sad to see her sick this weekend, but one amazing thing that I realized is how much she needs ME. That was a first. She didn't want her daddy in the middle of the night. As much as I want him to be able to comfort her and I know he will be able to more in the future. He just wasn't cutting it for her when she was sick. She didn't need to be breast fed at the time. She just needed her mommy's loving arms to rock her to sleep. It was a beautiful feeling to be the ONE. I have wanted this for so long.

Oh what a precious and fleeting thing motherhood is. I am only in the beginning but I already realize how quickly it flies by. Don't get me wrong, I know that I will forever be a mother now, that this little girl will forever be etched on my heart, but these days when they are little are short! I sometimes miss those newborn days. Things were simpler. She was tiny and easy to put to sleep ;) Now she is much bigger and more distractible. But she is SO MUCH FUN!

It's really fun to watch them grow, but I have heard so many people say to enjoy these days while they last, though at times they can be very difficult to enjoy. But despite all of the hard times I really strive to embrace this jungle that I am in now. It feels endless. It feels thick and all encompassing, but it's fleeting. Her giggles and her smiles and her new developments every day, they will slow down and she will normalize and equalize and become easier. But she will never be the little person that she is now again. So I just want to enjoy it while it lasts.