She will change...

This is something that I really wish people would have told me when my baby was teeny tiny. I would have held onto it and I think it would have helped me to savor those first days a bit more. I think a few people told me this, but I guess I didn’t listen well. I guess I didn’t realize how VERY true it was, that everything would change and I didn’t have to worry about schedules and sleeping through the night and the fact that I basically lived on the couch where I fed her. 

I guess it just took some adjusting. But if I could just go back to my brand new mommy self and say, “Hey, enjoy this, she is going to change SO MUCH!” I really thought that I would be living in Central Asia, past three months, and nursing all the time. The reality is, once she gained a little weight and became more aware of the world, she stopped wanting to nurse all the time. She was just so little and that was really the only thing that brought her joy while she was awake, so she wanted to do it ALL THE TIME! 

She’s starting to get to a point where she doesn't want to nurse to sleep as much. It makes me kind of sad. Though I can say that for the past few months I have been thoroughly enjoying nursing and holding my sleeping baby girl. Now as she lies perfectly asleep in her crib, as I have wished for so many times, I wonder how many times I will get to nurse her to sleep again and hold her while she naps. It’s much easier when they are brand new and they don’t wake up every move you make, but as they grow it gets trickier. Still just as desirable, I just want to cuddle her up every time I see her asleep. 

I feel like I wished those days away at times, not realizing how precious and easy they were. She has changed and in some ways she is so much easier, partly because I have changed, partly because I know her and she knows me, and partly because she is just maturing. I really am a mommy now. Not a very seasoned one, but I have WAY more confidence than I did those first difficult days. I just wish that I knew how precious those days were. My first days as a mommy, they were so stressful at times. I remember not being able to eat because I was so stressed about doing my job right. How funny that seems now. 

I guess this is mostly just a reminder to all the new moms out there to cherish those precious first months. It’s also a reminder to myself to cherish today, tomorrow and the days that seem long, because she won’t be like this forever and there is so much about it that is priceless.