Counting the cost

This last week I have been counting the cost more than any other time in my life. We live in a wonderful city, we have great friends and we just moved into a really nice apartment. I should be happy, right? Well, these things are amazing and I feel so blessed because of them, but that doesn’t change the fact that I am thousands of miles away from a family that I love so dearly. It doesn’t change the fact that where we are is a far cry from the states.

I was shocked at the difference when I returned last week. I really didn’t expect such a shock. I guess because we went to Italy before we returned to the states, I didn’t have the opportunity to appreciate the stark difference of the two places, but stepping off the plane last week, just smelling the air and driving with a crazy taxi driver to our new flat to drop off our bags. Then returning to our previous flat to begin packing. As soon as I walked in I felt like I was home and that was when I broke down. I had to break away from the only thing that felt like home in this foreign land!

Dad was majorly challenging me this time. I felt the pain of how far away I was from my family, how nice things were in the states and how they are just different here. I am not complaining here, because actually, crazily enough, I really love our life here, and after one week of adjustment, I remember what I love about. Maybe it is just Dad’s Gr*ce that makes me love it, nevertheless I absolutely love it!

Curtis and I were reflecting on our time in the states, one of those days when I was still feeling weak. It is one of those places that it hurts to be in, but you know it’s good for you. You know that this is where the change takes place. This is where Dad takes your weakness and makes you strong and the only way that you can get up and walk around and be a normal human being is because He is giving you the strength to do it. I remember saying through tears how going to the states made me really not want to waste my time here, because I remember now what I am sacrificing to be here. It reminded me that we are not here just to do a job.

So we will fight on with the strength that we are given and we will do what we came here to do. Please think about us as we work to carry out this hefty duty. We love you all and miss you all dearly.