The thing about infant sleep

I am not going to write some fiery post about what is right and what is wrong. I just want to write about this because I feel like so many people are always talking about it. There seems to be research and science behind both sides of the story, but there is one thing that I don't like that comes from either side, I like to call it "sleep shaming." This is when one person from either side of the fence comes against the other and makes them feel ashamed of how they are doing it. That is not what I am here to do.

My hope is that first time mothers would see this and feel less pressure when it comes to sleep training. Because I am FINALLY starting to, even though we have NEVER really had any problems apart from the first month, when babies really can't be trained anyhow and they are basically nocturnal. But I was under some impression that I could because I read some books that made me feel like I should be starting it already. Then I had a few people talk some sense into me and I read this, this, this, this and this on kellymom. I realized that sleep training and schedules were not going to happen the first few months. Routines can be started by the parents, but schedules, I don't even know if I agree with strict schedules, especially since my daughter is so unpredictable, as are most babies. But that is probably a completely different discussion. 

I can't speak for everyone's babies, but the best way to get my baby to sleep is to nurse her to sleep. This has been so natural and been one of the greatest joys for me since I became a mother. But all along I have had this voice in the back of my mind telling me that I am doing something wrong. I am ruining her, it's just a crutch and I'm gonna need to break it eventually. All of these things would be going through my mind even though we had a great sleeper on our hands and we still do.

The other day I read this article about lies people will tell you about infant sleep and it was revolutionary for me. It helped me to feel the freedom in what I was doing. It reminded me that what worked for me and my sweet baby girl wasn't wrong just because some scientists or pediatricians might say it is. There are just as many people saying the opposite. There are always two sides of the coin. I am not some huge advocate of attachment parenting (though I tend to favor most aspects of it), nor am I completely against sleep training. I am for what works for you! I know this sounds like some post about "everything is relative" "just do what feels good." That's not it at all. Every baby is different and every mother is different. I am not saying there isn't a science behind the different methods. I am just saying that different things work for different people. If you found something that works and you like it and feel good about it, stick with it!! Don't worry about what everyone else is saying or doing.

I know that I am a relatively new mom with little experience. But I know so many great moms who have nursed their babies to sleep and haven't had problems. I know some that have had problems, but don't regret it because those were some of their most cherished times and these little ones won't be little forever! It's really just a season and then it's gone. The time of night time nursing and watching them sink slowly into sleep as they nurse during a cold drizzly day. It's the best in my opinion and if things change and she starts waking up every hour, I guess I will have to change what I am doing. But for now, it's working like a charm and I have a very happy and healthy baby on my hands.

I hope that if you are a new mom and you are doing something that is working for you, but have been shamed by others doing the opposite, that you would just be able to find freedom in doing what works for you and your precious little baby.